Give a dog a bone? No. Give a dog A CHOICE...

I was reading this blog today and it never ceases to amaze me how you seem to find an article discussing just what you have been thinking about recently.

As my regular readers will know, I've got a life-term foster dog.  He's a 5yr neutered male Neapolitan Mastiff who bounced from his two previous homes for health reasons but also because of his severe neophobia (fear of novel stimuli).

When he bounced the second time, I promised him he never again have to endure another massive trauma (for him) of changing homes.  So here he will stay unless I can find him another person who can actually guarantee his behavioural and physical health management.

The reason I've been thinking so much lately of the irony of my work with him is that over the past 18 months he has gradually overcome the worst of his behavioural problems and he is now only mildly neophobic.  However, while he is now much more comfortable with new people approaching him, I find myself leading him away from people.

Reasons for this? (yeah I had to think about why I was doing this too...)

1.  When you say 'yes, you can come and say hello to him' (that's when they even bother to ask..) people just seem incapable of being polite to a dog.  They will approach making lots of noises, bending down over him, touching and smacking his head.  If they did that to me I'd slap them, but people think it's okay to do that to a dog they don't know.


2.  Being a Neapolitan Mastiff, I am loathe to give people the impression that this breed can actually tolerate this type of personal violation of space so that they will go online when they go home and get one as a family pet.  Only last week I was desensitising him to a lively child on a bike when the boy's father attempted to walk right over to us, saying how beautiful he was and enquiring what breed he was (to which I ALWAYS reply 'just a crossbreed').  If I hadn't physically blocked the man, he would have thought nothing of invading both mine and my dog's personal space.

Having worked in the welfare of this breed for about 7 or 8 years now, I have lost all empathy with people who go out and buy a Neapolitan Mastiff as a family pet 'because I love the way they look' and then want to get rid of them when their true nature surfaces at sexual maturity.

So... I find myself verbally or even physically blocking people when they ask 'is he friendly?'.  I find myself saying 'No' and then praising my dog warmly for walking on peacefully.  Why SHOULD I subject him to the risk of having all of our work undone by one ignorant person who frightens him with their approach?  Why SHOULDN'T he be able to go for a peaceful walk without being accosted by people who he would actually rather not interact with?

I always know a true dog person.  Someone who stands back, asks me if THE DOG would like to say hello and simply waits for an answer, then waits to see if the dog would actually like to approach for a sniff.  No approaching, no hard eye contact or unpredictable moves, no violation of his personal space, no intimidation.  

Most importantly, a true dog person simply smiles back and nods 'of course' if you say no or THE DOG says no.  

Next time you see a dog you would like to say hello to, just wait and watch.  You could be surprised when you actually give the dog some choice in the matter...

I've got a client who took on a dog with severe proximity issues around other dogs.  We've come to a bit of an empasse in the dog's rehabilitation because the owner's work pattern doesn't allow them to attend regular sessions.  The owner feels really bad about this because they would love a dog who can just be let off the lead to frolic and play with other dogs.

This was my recent reply to them...

"Hi D****

I really understand the dilemma that owners have when faced with taking on a dog with issues.  I've fostered plenty myself so know how stressful it can be, but I really can tell you that some dogs really don't want to be bothered by other dogs.  They would much rather just play and work with their owners while on a walk.  I think B*** is one of these dogs, at least at the moment.  It's really important for us to separate what we think the dog would like from what the dog would tell you if he could speak.

Well, dogs can speak - in their body language - and at the moment, B****'s body language tells us loud and clear that he's not happy around other dogs.

I'll tell you a little story... When my boys were young I really wanted one of them to go into rugby.  It's a great sport and I'm a qualified coach and I knew they'd really love it if they gave it a chance.  To cut a long story short, they tried it and even got fairly serious about it, which was when I got fairly serious about it, hoping they'd get picked for the county, maybe even the national side!  When they decided to give it up and move onto other things it was really difficult for me; I'd given up years of my life thinking that they were enjoying it, thinking that they had the same goals as me.  It took me a long time to realise that they didn't have the same goals as me and my ideas of what they loved doing weren't the same as theirs.

We all want a dog we can slip off the lead and let go off to run about and play with other dogs and people.  Well I can promise you that that kind of dog is becoming rarer and rarer these days because humans mess them up. B****'s previous owners really did mess him up and it's really unfair that you have to deal with the problems that someone else created.  However if you accept that he's probably not going to develop into a dog from a Disney film for a very long time, if ever, then you will be able to let up on yourself a bit and simply enjoy B***** for what he is.  A great companion to you and your family.

Yes it means you'll have to pick your walks carefully.  Yes it means muzzling him.  Yes it means having a long trailing line on him at all times.  Does it mean he's going to be any less happy doing these things?  Well that's SOLELY up to you.  If you walk him feeling unhappy that he's not Lassie, then he'll probably have a rotten time too and yes, he will be unhappy, but not because he can't go charging off into the field, but because you're feeling sorry for him.

I'm fostering a dog a bit like B**** at the moment; has to be on a lead most of the time, can't be walked in busy dog-populated areas because of fear problems with some types due to a really bad upbringing by numpty owners etc.  Does he have any less of a great time?  No, because I make sure that these times with just me and him are really great times, where he can have my undivided attention, and explore every mouse or rabbit hole, he can hunt for food I drop out for him, we can run about and play chase with each other etc.  Does he miss the company of other dogs?  Why should he!!?  I AM THE ONE THAT MAKES HIS TAIL WAG!!!

That's eventually how I'd like you to feel about being out with B*****.  Don't feel sorry for him or wish he was some other kind of dog.  Love the dog you're with, not the dog you wish you had.  You'll really feel much happier about everything - and so will he.

~Jaq~"

During a Walk the Other Day...

We were out for a walk the other day, just me, my daughter and a couple of the dogs, in a public country park in Kent.

I’ve always wished that there was some way (other than fixing a camera to your forehead) of recording events as they happen to put in a blog entry because a 60 second piece of video can speak an hour’s worth of typed words!  As I didn’t have a camera attached to my forehead, I’ll have to describe the things that happened during our walk that I found so fascinating that I wanted to blog about.

The first was as we entered one of the fields.  An adult male Labrador cross was enjoying himself with a Frisbee being thrown by his adult male owner.  The instant thing that hit you about this pair were that they were inherently relaxed, both of them.  The owner wasn’t on his phone or miles away in thought, he was enjoying some time with his dog and the dog was clearly enjoying the time with his owner, but there was a mutual ‘peace’ and calm about them both that I found really pleasant to watch.

Our dogs were enjoying their first few moments of freedom and of course were terribly excited to see another dog to interact with and ran up to the Labrador a little too rudely and quickly.  I explained to the owner that my dogs were okay, just a little excited to have just got here and the owner merely said with a kind smile ‘Ah that’s okay, he can look after himself’.  As I watched this lovely Labrador very calmly drop his toy to concentrate on dealing with the approach of dogs shouting ‘HALLOOOO THERE!!!’  on their approach, I anthropomorphosised in my head that he was letting out a sigh and a quick eye roll as if to say “…  Oh dear.. and I was just enjoying a bit of peace and quiet with my toy – oh well, had better be polite at least”.  Immediately it was obvious to me that the dog was as relaxed and confident as his owner and of course, the dog was able to calmly receive the attentions of my slightly-hyped pair, including telling my little guy that he was being a bit rude by jumping up at him with a little snap. 

It was lovely to watch, and I dearly wish I’d had that camera stuck to my forehead to show you.

By contrast…

Half an hour on, we were approaching one of the gates when a man came in with his young Springer spaniel.  The Springer was clearly extremely excited to be in this environment, well what Springer wouldn’t?  Rabbit, fox, cattle, squirrel and goodness-knows-what-else tracks all over the place!  My dogs had calmed down a little by now, but were still happy to see another offlead dog and they all met halfway between their respective owners.  However, the other owner’s behaviour was very stiff and anxious and he came walking very quickly up to the dogs.  At the same time his Springer’s tail went between his legs, he became anxious and tense and the entire atmosphere changed.

Now I don’t know if the dog’s behaviour changed the owner, or the owner’s behaviour changed the dog, but I DO know that the only element capable of change in this relationship is the owner.  This was obviously an established pattern - anxiety around other dogs from both owner & dog – and now this pattern is established, the owner is the only one that can alter the course of events through his behaviour changes, his attitude towards other dogs, his actions etc.  However knowing this usually creates more tension in the owner and the downward spiral continues to a point where the dog is automatically going on the offensive with every dog it meets.

As the experienced ‘element’ in this interaction it was up to me to take the initiative and I called my dogs away from the Springer who was led away by his owner.

There are a few take-home messages from this blog; 

• Laid back owners have laid back dogs. (Think about it).
• In EVERY situation where dogs meet, being tense and anxious NEVER helps, and it is really important for the person (or dog in some cases!) with the most experience and knowledge to take the initiative, read the situation and calmly deal with it, whether it’s 2 dogs and 2 owners or 10 dogs and 5 owners…
• Like it or not, if you live in an area where you meet offlead dogs a lot, you HAVE to help your dog learn to socialise.  If that means YOU need to learn more about canine language in order to help your dog, then get in touch with a behaviour consultant who can teach you.